Friday, August 8, 2008

The Other Boy

My heart feels like a sack of bricks right now, too heavy for it's own good.

Today I was talking to this boy I had a past fling with. The fling came at a cost of practically losing one of my best friends (or what I thought was a best friend). While I was talking to him all those old feeling came rushing back and all I could think about was him. I felt bad because my current boy totally left my mind at that moment. I don't know what this means! I don't want to have feelings for the other boy! He crushed my heart and still continues to do it to this day. I feel like crying at times, because I feel so stupid for even letting him get so into my mind. 

I want nothing more then to forget any kind of feelings I ever had for the other boy, but it seems impossible. He even moved and yet it seems like he'll be in my heart and mind forever. I want to be able to focus completely on my current boy. I want to be able to look at him and not think of the other.  I want to be happy with a boy that wouldn't hurt me and actually is with me for me and not what I can give.

Oh how I hope that day comes soon!!

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